Creative Crackpot

There is simplicity and beauty in the expression weeding it out. What this suggests is uprooting something we don’t want to, perhaps, make room for something we do want. Creative expression is a means to achieve this. I don’t mean to suggest that living a creative life will free you of challenge nor am I suggesting the only way to be creative is through artistic expression. Creativity is about self — who we are, how we approach life, that which does not need to be proven, accepted or judged — it simply is. Creativity is about exploring what makes us unique and embracing it.

As we journey toward this self discovery, that which blocks our creativity will inevitably need to be explored as well.

In my own journey of self discovery I’ve come across and still come across core beliefs and behaviors that create roadblocks to self expression and creativity — living a life that is not fulfilling, rich, wondrous. Becoming introspective has been important for my own process to understand myself, my emotions, my interactions and my reactions to people, places and things. I’ve spent many years investigating, healing and uprooting these beliefs and behaviors which no longer serve me and essentially rob me of reverence for life and joy.

So begins the healing process.

I recently found myself remembering a time in my childhood when mom decided it was time to redo the landscaping which required the removal of a rather large Asapargus Fern.

The Asparagus Fern (Asparagus densiflorus) is a plant with long arching branches, covered with needle like foliage. Ouch! It’s a hearty plant that will flourish quite well with very little maintenance — interesting metaphor for family dysfunction. Upon embarking on a job like uprooting this plant one has to consider how to approach it. Go in with bare hand, exposed arms and the determination to make it ‘short and sweet”, well, you are sure to get scraped up along the way.

So now you’ve decided you will do this — take on the task of weeding it out. Simple enough right? Not much to it other than yanking those arching branches and digging out the roots. Ah, but it turns out this particular plant has a complex root system which seems to never end, even pods to make it extra challenging. And when it comes to healing self, just when you think you’ve dealt with the ‘root’ cause of your problems something related crops up somewhere else down the road. It can be quite discouraging. When you need to, ask for help. It may not be easy but ut doesn’t have to be painful.

Just like uprooting this plant doesn’t have to be the monstrous task it appears, healing those dark spaces you came across on your journey do not need to be overwhelming. You just need willingness, patience, support and a gentle touch.

It is what it is. When you come face-to-face with those spots in your past that still contain hurt, leave the ‘woulda, shoulda, coulda’ behind. Deal with each step with the care and time you need.

You know, that Asparagus Fern my mother uprooted was a monster project she thought would never end. But it did. She got the help she needed, took the time to completly remove that ferns’ roots and pods so they wouldn’t grow back, and then began the task of replanting something quite beautiful.

Ever been driving in a neighborhood and just thought to yourself, “these are definitely rented homes”? The houses are not well kept and the yards are in complete disarray. Maybe there’s even an old rusted out car in the front yard with weeds and grass overgrown to the bumper. Perhaps you’ve even lived somewhere the lawn seemed completely destroyed. Visualize that for a moment.

Look at all the parts of the lawn. Are there lots of weeds. Maybe several brown spots. Is there even ANY green grass left? Looking at this lawn you might just shake your head and say, “it’s just beyond repair” and walk away. When you consider all that needs to be done to bring this lawn to healthy condition again the task just seems too big. Maybe you think, “I’ll just tear out this lawn and put down new sod.” A quick, easy, painless albeit expensive fix.

We approach our lives and the challenges in it in much the same way we approach this lawn. It’s possible to change the path of your life in short order if you understand how that is done or have a moment of sudden awareness as you might see with people who have had near death experiences. For them it’s a gift. They are given the opportunity to examine their lives at a much deeper level then ever before, in just moments. For the rest of us it is a conscious decision to examine it over time.

The important thing here is to even recognize there is a lawn to tend to. You have the choice, the free will, to exist without noticing the beauty of the ‘lawn’ that is your life. When you are ready the lawn will be there.

It can be very tempting to look at someone else’s lawn and notice every weed they have growing and are not tending to. This is counterproductive to the care and maintenance of your own life. Just as you would not stop on some street, get out of your car, pull up someone’s weeds and mow their lawn, you should not spend time monitoring someone else’s life. It’s their life, let them tend to it. Ok, perhaps you’re a gardener and you are paid to do this work. We’ll consider the gardeners to be therapists. They help others with their issues but are not taken over by the desire to fix the lawn, just help maintain it.

Do not be overwhelmed by the work required. You do not need to do it all at once. Make the tasks manageable for you. Find the tools that work best for you and begin the process. For some meditation is the biggest part of their maintenance. Keeping the mind quiet while allowing the spirit to speak. Others turn to psychotherapy to ‘weed-out’ the difficulties that face them or to ‘up-root’ patterns that do not bring joy. There are many ways to approach opening your awareness and healing yourself.

Creative Crackpot is about being playful and expressive. When we are open to our creativity we can uncover parts of ourselves we never knew existed. There are messages to be received in the process of creativity. This is yet another tool and what a fun one it can be!

exercise: visualizing

Sit quietly for a few moments. Take a few deep breaths and relax. If you have things on your mind or life is just too stressful for you imagine you have written these concerns on a piece of paper, see yourself fold the paper and place it into a box. See yourself put the box on a shelf. In your mind say, “I will put this aside for the time being and come back to it when I am done here.” You can let it go for the time being.

Take a few more deep breaths and relax all the muscles of your face and body. See your life as a lawn. Don’t analyze it or try to repair it in this moment. Just see it for what it is. Look at the details without criticizing. Are there flowers? Is it surrounded by trees? How high is the grass and are there many weeds? How many types of weeds are there? Are there areas where grass is missing?

Just be there for a while looking at the lawn. Stay there as long as you need. Again, do not try to fix or criticize it, just be there. Perhaps take a deep breath in and noticing what scents come to you. What are the textures. Enjoy the lawn and return to the day when you are comfortable. You can come back to the lawn and do work whenever you want.

It’s a process.